Of all of the incomprehensible inversions of justice and just plain common sense in America today, perhaps none are more infuriating than the squatter phenomenon. But fear not! Free enterprise has found a legal solution to disinfest your house when the law is on the side of the people who have stolen it.
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I had a dog that got some garbage and swallowed some aluminum foil that blocked his colon so he couldn’t poop. The vet said he needs an enema and he could do it or I could do it myself. I said you do it I don’t care if it costs $1000 – I’m not gonna yit! A $200 top is perfectly reasonable.
I have personal experience with this. My brother lived and died in Las Vegas and because NV falls under the 9th district court it took me 4 months and $5000+ to get rid of the squatters in his house. My husband and I had to move it to prevent them from stealing him blind. It was horrifying. They stole weapons my brother had as well as the keys to my brothers work vans. The police did NOTHING about it because we didn’t see them take the items. Worst 4 months of our lives.
Great side gig for us old codger’s who get gas just looking at a bean burrito.
In all seriousness, how in God’s name does California give property rights to people squatting on your property? Has this “law” been challenged? Supreme Court? I know the cost of a home out there. How does this not affect property values? Why do people stay? I know it’s “purty”, but so are a lot of dolled-up dames. You don’t “marry” the crazy ones.
I love that analogy — Staying in California because of the weather and scenery is EXACTLY the same mentality as marrying a gorgeous but crazy woman. Both are equally unwise and self destructive. In neither case is the detriment outweighed by the benefit. California is a perpetual sugar high rotting your teeth while sapping your good sense and if you’re lucky you’ll live long enough to die of diabetes. I don’t only hate California because it’s a horrible place with horrible people. I also hate it because I KNOW there is a much better life to be had almost anywhere… Read more »
I was told by the police that if they are invited in and are allowed to stay the night they are now tenants. If they get mail there that cements the tenant status. They then will have to be evicted. Florida is it right. Kick them out immediately!!
This graph always applies.
Maybe property owners could contact Ukraine for those autonomous kill bot drones?…..what??.too soon? Did I just stumble over a “rubicon”? Oops. Sorry about the family dog…..
SuperGlue on the toilet seat!
Inconceivable? 😉 In today’s woke & entitled culture, hardly. Reminds me of Vizzini (5x) lines in “The Princess Bride”, where Inigo Montoya facetiously points out “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” Like constantly calling something impossible, even though it keeps happening. Unimaginable perhaps? 🙂 Having to deal with these inconsiderate, entitled, thieving, squatter vermin is yet another good reason to never – ever – become a landlord. Even after the long, stressful, and costly ordeal of physically evicting them, the place is usually left trashed. Personally, if I decide to rent/lease… Read more »
A few years ago Scott Adams did a cartoon where “Alice” and the “Pointy Haired Boss” were being snarky about the maintenance man. He came by and basically said “Wow! Look what I got! It took me all morning to plunge him out!” Alice and the PHB decided that the man was underpaid, not matter what he got for a salary. Similar to your $200.00 tip. WELL worth it!
Sounds like it could be an episode of Dirty Jobs.
Oh HELL yeah I’d do that job. The money would have to be right, it’s not something I’d do for free (except maybe for a friend) so I’d want to be compensated well for doing such a thing and it’s commensurate risks but … You bet your ass I’d be a “Squatter Buster” and I would love it~
Oh yeah, i can see you doing that. One: Marines find a way. Two: You “pride,” yourself on being an asshole. I can easily see you employing weapons grade assholery. For myself, i’d be thinking “Ooo! Time to bring out my old chemistry set!” The smells. Mysterious stains on their stuff.. . and also stains their hands and is hard to remove. Non harmful, but sticky stuff that ends up on them and their clothes. Small but harmless explosions.(often when they are sleeping) And thats just off the top of my head. I wonder if they could use a consultant,… Read more »
Used to come to BWDC for his insightful commentary….used to I did….now it’s All About the Comments! They’ll have to pry this membership from my cold dead hands.
Thank you, thank you. I’m so glad you like it. I do especially like “weapons grade assholery”.
As to my stuff… it would be accompanied either by giggling or maniacle laughing…. or both.
Once, long ago when I lived in Los Angeles … One evening I had a business appointment to discuss some biometric security stuff with a client. My garage faced onto an alley and I pulled out and turned down the alley to get to the surface streets. The alley was “L” shaped and when I turned onto the short leg around the corner there was a car completely blocking the alley. This was not necessary because there was plenty of room for the car to park to one side where people could drive around it without difficulty. The guy who… Read more »
The phrase “there is always a bigger fish” comes to mind. Also, some bullies were lucky their targets did not have older siblings to correct their behavior.
The other line that comes to mind, from Jim Croce’s song Don’t Mess Around with Jim about not hustling people you don’t know.
Yup. You pretty much did what I meant by “weapons grade assholery”. The second saw ethyl mercaptan I knew the asshole level reached weapons grade. All mercaptans stink. Butyl mercapan is what I had in mind for just one of my odors. Its one of the many (main) chemicals in skunk odor. My other odor I had in mind was hydrogen sulfide. It smells of rotten eggs. You may not really care, but here is a bit of chemical info: If you take any alcohol (methyl, ethyl, propyl, etc) and replace the oxygen with sulfur, you get a mercaptan. In… Read more »
Just remember, one of the rules of this gig is that you have to stay in the same house. Not sure I would unleash the Mercaptan as a first volley, only if really needed and then if I had SCUBA gear available for myself.
Mercaptan probably would be last resort.
However, with a small enough dose it can be limited to a single room.
And also, just get them to relinquish the house and then move in.
Bear in mind that the purpose of using mercaptan wasn’t that it stinks really, really bad. It does and that’s a side benefit. The purpose was to make the intended target think he had a natural gas leak, a really bad gas leak. I’m sure you know this but for those who might not, ethyl mercaptan is the stuff they put in otherwise odorless natural gas and propane to make it stink so you know when there’s a dangerous gas leak. I got it from a guy I knew who worked on that kind of stuff. This was before the… Read more »
Yes, ethyl mercaptantan was used in giving scent to natural gas, and as you used it, they thought it was a gas leak…and thus weapons grade assholery. If used massive amounts, it just gets stinky…very stinky. Still like my butyl mercaptan. Worse than ethyl mecaptan. Also would look for skunk…or a dead skunk. And trust me, I knew the “No better friend, no worse enemy” ‘motto’. But before I knew it, I often said of myself: “Im a great friend, but you wouldnt want me as an enemy” or “Beware the wrath of a patient man”. Not only Marines can… Read more »
When I listened to this my first thought was this is a job for which ACTS might return to CA for brief visits.
I could definitely see it.