Schrödinger’s Ayatollah

‘They seek him here, they seek him there

Those Yankees seek him everywhere!

Is he in Heaven? Is he in Hell?

That damned, elusive Pimpernel!’

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Kathleen Curtis
March 13, 2026 7:25 AM

He may not be the Scarlet Pimpernel, but he’s definitely the Purple Pumpernickel.

Thad Balmas
March 12, 2026 8:55 PM

No more kakamimis…

Jack Garrott
March 12, 2026 6:28 PM

When I clicked on the link in the email, it gave me the results of a search for Schrödinger’s. I had to go to billwhittle.com to get to this.

ACTS (TM)
Reply to  Jack Garrott
March 13, 2026 7:05 AM

PEBKAC glitch.

ACTS (TM)
March 12, 2026 4:53 PM

I don’t think we need all that decaying molecule scientific stuff. I’m perfectly fine with putting every single ayatollah in a box with a cyanide capsule and a timer. No sense in messing around with any uncertainties and it’s still a lot kinder way to treat them than the way they treat other people. Or how they would treat me and you if they could.

Ron Swansons Alter Ego
Reply to  ACTS (TM)
March 13, 2026 4:51 AM

The timer is on or nah?

Yea, that’s pretty dark of me, but . . .

ACTS (TM)
Reply to  Ron Swansons Alter Ego
March 13, 2026 7:01 AM

LOL …Grandma always taught us kids not to be cruel to the farm animals but I don’t think that same principle is in operation here.

Maybe a random number generator set to trigger the cyanide when it hits its 50th prime number… Just to make things entertaining for them?

Ron Swansons Alter Ego
Reply to  ACTS (TM)
March 13, 2026 2:51 PM

Knew you’d get my point. The Random Number thing not bad and we could let him have a button with the number 11 on it so he could speed up the process.

Bart Lago
March 12, 2026 11:05 AM

Many American males remember Jaye P. Morgan from The Gong Show.
But what happens if the cat is the Toonces the Tooncinator?

David Pimentel
March 12, 2026 9:07 AM

Come now, Scott. How do you know that no cyanide capsules were broken in the cat box? Did you actually observe it? If so, the experiment’s over. If you didn’t, then speculation is irrelevant and contrary to the point of the experiment.

Keith Jackson
March 12, 2026 7:10 AM

Steve! OMG! You’re Schrodinger’s box explanation was good. Not that I doubted you. It’s just that not many can.
Something tells me that giving Iran a few items from the US Constitution and having the Shah’s progeny administer an interim government might not work given they are not a Judeo-Christian society. But they might if they were majority Zoroastrian.

Rick Notkin
March 12, 2026 5:20 AM

Well done.